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Facebook Debate: Modesty & Clothing

A post on our Facebook page asking for clothing guidelines stemmed a debate on whether guys even have any business saying what’s modest for girls to wear or not (which is great, keep the posts and comments coming). Some people said God, not man is the determiner of what’s modest, so girls don’t need to ask men, and others said men should weigh since modesty is only for their sake anyway. I think there are elements in truth in both statements, but that they’re each incomplete. Guys-On-Modesty, wants to make it clear that our goal is to encourage and help girls see that there IS guys here in our world that DO appreciate Modesty. We appreciate woman that are modest is all areas of their lives, both physically and emotionally.Here in Guys-On-Modesty Blog, we are strong believers that Modesty is NOT just about clothing it’s a life style that reflects in the way you speak, act, and think!

To begin with, I’ve never liked the idea that guys should dictate what girls wear, I think it degrades the girl and paints all guys as uncontrollably lustful. Modesty is its own virtue, not just something girls do for men. That being said, girls should be mindful of how guys will see what they wear, both out of courtesy to men trying to live chastely, and to protect themselves from men who aren’t. To this end, guys are the perfect resource to inform a girl how she’ll be looked at if she wears this or that, but their opinion isn’t law.

While the virtue of modesty isn’t relative, how it’s expressed through clothing is. Cultural norms of modesty vary drastically, and no one norm is the absolute right. You should try your best to conform to the standards of modesty of the time and culture that you are living in. The core importance is to dress and carry yourself in a way that evokes respect, not lust; which shows men that you’re a person, not an object. Some men will refuse to see that no matter what, but I don’t believe in catering to the lowest denominator, so don’t worry about them. The human body is beautiful, how you dress should reflect that. That’s why I’m not a fan of shapeless jean jumpers and the like.

Remember, the beauty you’ve been given is a gift; you did nothing to earn it. If you keep this in mind you’ll avoid pride, which kills modesty (and every other virtue). But as a gift, it’s meant to be shared with the world for the glory of God. Man was made in God’s image, and few physical objects reveal the goodness and beauty of God so well as a beautiful woman. The problem with immodesty is not that it reveals too much beauty, but that it doesn’t reveal enough. It prevents people from seeing the complete person, body and soul, and thus seeing the beauty of God reflected there. This is why actions are a critical component of modesty, because they reveal more of the person than clothes do.

So in choosing clothes, ask yourself whether they’ll reveal all of your beauty, or just fixate people on the lesser part of it—your body. If you’re not sure, ask a friend (possibly a guy) whose opinion you respect.

– Guys-On-Modesty

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4 thoughts on “Facebook Debate: Modesty & Clothing

  1. Two comments stand out for me:

    “…girls should be mindful of how guys will see what they wear, both out of courtesy to men trying to live chastely, and to protect themselves from men who aren’t.”

    And…

    “The core importance is to dress and carry yourself in a way that evokes respect, not lust; which shows men that you’re a person, not an object. Some men will refuse to see that no matter what, but I don’t believe in catering to the lowest denominator, so don’t worry about them.”

    Amen! The key is to be dignified, humble, and have the self respect to not allow yourself to be objectified.

    I think if we gals would just remember not to wear anything tight, clingy, or sheer we’d have a head start on most of society! For me, I always remember what I was taught: “From the shoulders to the knees, nobody touches, nobody sees.”

    I appreciate that men are stepping into this subject because…as you said…it’s nice to know there ARE gentlemen out there that actually care!!!

    God bless!

  2. Fantastic post! Insightful and thought-provoking! Thank you so much for what you’re doing—please DON’T STOP! This conversation about modesty, beauty and dignity needs to take place. Women especially need to hear these truths about the dignity of the human person spoken from men. I know you’ve been getting slammed with negative feedback, but just take every one of those comments as proof of how much the truth needs to be told! God bless you all!

  3. “…girls should be mindful of how guys will see what they wear, both out of courtesy to men trying to live chastely, and to protect themselves from men who aren’t.”

    “The core importance is to dress and carry yourself in a way that evokes respect, not lust; which shows men that you’re a person, not an object. Some men will refuse to see that no matter what, but I don’t believe in catering to the lowest denominator, so don’t worry about them.”

    Such comments are refreshing when coming from a man ~

  4. Standards of Modesty in Dress
    Imprimatur dated Sept. 24, 1956
    “A dress cannot be called decent which is cut deeper than two fingers breadth under the pit of the throat; which does not cover the arms at least to the elbows; and scarcely reaches a bit beyond the knees. Furthermore, dresses of transparent materials are improper.”
    The Cardinal Vicar of Pius XII

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