A post on our Facebook page asking for clothing guidelines stemmed a debate on whether guys even have any business saying what’s modest for girls to wear or not (which is great, keep the posts and comments coming). Some people said God, not man is the determiner of what’s modest, so girls don’t need to ask men, and others said men should weigh since modesty is only for their sake anyway. I think there are elements in truth in both statements, but that they’re each incomplete. Guys-On-Modesty, wants to make it clear that our goal is to encourage and help girls see that there IS guys here in our world that DO appreciate Modesty. We appreciate woman that are modest is all areas of their lives, both physically and emotionally.Here in Guys-On-Modesty Blog, we are strong believers that Modesty is NOT just about clothing it’s a life style that reflects in the way you speak, act, and think!
To begin with, I’ve never liked the idea that guys should dictate what girls wear, I think it degrades the girl and paints all guys as uncontrollably lustful. Modesty is its own virtue, not just something girls do for men. That being said, girls should be mindful of how guys will see what they wear, both out of courtesy to men trying to live chastely, and to protect themselves from men who aren’t. To this end, guys are the perfect resource to inform a girl how she’ll be looked at if she wears this or that, but their opinion isn’t law.
While the virtue of modesty isn’t relative, how it’s expressed through clothing is. Cultural norms of modesty vary drastically, and no one norm is the absolute right. You should try your best to conform to the standards of modesty of the time and culture that you are living in. The core importance is to dress and carry yourself in a way that evokes respect, not lust; which shows men that you’re a person, not an object. Some men will refuse to see that no matter what, but I don’t believe in catering to the lowest denominator, so don’t worry about them. The human body is beautiful, how you dress should reflect that. That’s why I’m not a fan of shapeless jean jumpers and the like.
Remember, the beauty you’ve been given is a gift; you did nothing to earn it. If you keep this in mind you’ll avoid pride, which kills modesty (and every other virtue). But as a gift, it’s meant to be shared with the world for the glory of God. Man was made in God’s image, and few physical objects reveal the goodness and beauty of God so well as a beautiful woman. The problem with immodesty is not that it reveals too much beauty, but that it doesn’t reveal enough. It prevents people from seeing the complete person, body and soul, and thus seeing the beauty of God reflected there. This is why actions are a critical component of modesty, because they reveal more of the person than clothes do.
So in choosing clothes, ask yourself whether they’ll reveal all of your beauty, or just fixate people on the lesser part of it—your body. If you’re not sure, ask a friend (possibly a guy) whose opinion you respect.